Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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