forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
