My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize