Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
