When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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