Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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