i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
