I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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