They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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