his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
