Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
