Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
