everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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