He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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