I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
