Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
