Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My breasts were aching with rage.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
