i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
its not stalking. its research.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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