he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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