i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
