how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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