Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize