Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
