You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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