Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Houston, we have a squirter
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
