ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
