She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
