Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
