i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
