dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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