Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
