just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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