there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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