I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
