last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
