She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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