It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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