Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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