That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
