Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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