ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
