Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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