he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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