super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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