i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
