dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
