i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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