Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
