Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
