I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
