U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
