im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
