dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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