If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
