Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I lost the right to judge tonight
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
