I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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