Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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