You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
