i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
