did you get engaged???
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
