They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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