I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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