check it out our google latitudes are spooning
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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