I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize